Mean Ol' Ry

There are many different churches in Cleveland to come across. Many denominations. It reminded me of Pokemon. Pokemon is from Japan. but many of the American kids play it. I can tell American kids play pokemon. because of all the commercials and toys and merchandise.

A pokemon battle happens like this: two japanese people decide to fight each other. each one carries these balls. when they open the balls a pokemon comes out and fights the opposing pokemon. it isn't a real fight: they launch signature moves that reduce the opponents Chi. or something.

It would be cool if stylized representations of different saints, priests, or denominational founders sprang from the balls instead. they would launch attacks of spouting off distilled theological ponderings at each other. They could evolve just like in Pokemon or digimon: the ultimate evolution of the good Theomons would be The Fonz or John Woolman or Thorstein Veblen. the evil theomons would evolve into televangelists. There would be distinctive, charismatic japanese characters urging them on the whole time.

One day Henry McCarty and his friends were driving some cattle into town. They had to sell them somewhere. They sold them to the cattle buying man.
"where'd you get these cattle" said the cattle buying man.

"I gotta keep it real, cracka" said Henry.

Just then some rival ranch hands road into town. They started talking trash. Henry shot them!

The Cattle Buying man was not impressed. "You can't go around shooting people forever!"

"It is ok, this is the Old West" said Henry.

"what does that mean?" said Cattle Buying Man.

"I don't know whether to rob a train or ride one" said Henry.

"Don't you worry about your reputation?" said Cattle Buying Man.

"Naw. This is the old west. Emilio Estevez will make me look good in the future".

One day, during the era of the rock and roll past, the Eagles performed a concert. They had Don Felder and Joe Walsh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh3_SSZElXg

Notice how the Eagles did Rock. Powerful lead guitar. a rolling backing groove. Melodic percussion. This was before the era of Wal-Mart Muzak Eagles.

During the year 1984 of the rock and roll past...Richie Blackmore toured Japan!
It was one of the few places he could afford to hire an Orchestra.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLLiBFmm7QM

Here you see Richie Blackmore's rearrangement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony into transcendental rock and roll.

The Guitar work alone is enough to go to Super Saiyan 3!
The clip only gets the first 9 minutes of the performance. At the end Richie Blackmore transforms to Super Saiyan 5! and all the Japanese people in the audience become Super Saiyans!

One day a van came down from Outer Space. Klapto stepped out of the van. "take me to your pizza", he told the press.

He went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. it was very good Pizza. Then he had to pay! he paid with his credit card. He had gotten many credit cards in the mail. He never ordered one. the credit card companies kept sending him more.

"This credit card is made of cardboard. it isn't real!" said the owner of the pizzaria.

"that is unacceptable!" said Klapto. He reached into his jacket. Pow! A police officer shot Klapto in the chest. Klapto ran away. He lost track of his Van.

Klapto started dating a college professor. she was pretty hot for a college professor. she looked like Jennifer Connelly.

"why are you here?" she asked him one day.

"In outer space we like watching the Tony Danza Show!"

"I've got bad news! The Tony Danza Show was cancelled" said Jennifer Connelly.

"I must speak to Tony Danza" said Klapto.

Klapto pressed a button on his watch. The Van started up and also a big Robot got out of the Van.

Klapto spoke to the United Nations! "Me and my friends in Outer Space don't want you people doing all your junk mail in Outer Space. Hopefully Tony Danza will straighten you out".

All of the television shows in the world were replaced with reruns of the Tony Danza Show. Then Klapto flew back to outer space.