Mean Ol' Ry

Jack got into the Chevy Astro Van and buckled his safety belt. They drove onto the highway.

"What is the mission?" Guy asked him.

"We must acquire Bagels for the orphanage" said Jack.

"What is a 'Bagel'? I have never heard of them" said Guy.

"A Bagel is like, boiled or steamed bread, or something" said Jack.

"Is it like Dim Sum?" said Guy.

"....No." said Jack. "I cannot believe you don't know what bagels are"

"In my village, we ate a lot of Maize. We grew blue Maize and made tortillas." said Guy.

"Where are you from?" said Jack.

"I am from Minnesota" said Guy.

They drove down the highway for half an hour and exited onto a county road. The County road was unpaved. "Where are we going?" said Guy.

"We must journey to the town of Hickory. There is an old Bakery there."

They drove past a a traffic sign that indicated the speed limit was 45 miles per hour. As soon as they passed it, a hidden Sheriffs Deputy pulled a lever that flipped the sign over! Now it read 35 MPH!

The Sheriffs Deputy Patrol Car turned on its sirens to apprehend the Chevy Astro Van. "no Damn Way! I was not speeding" said Guy.

Jack got on the CB radio. "What is the problem, deputy?"

"You all wuz speeding in a 35!" said Deputy Elmo. His partner Deputy Wesley chimed in. "That's Right!"

"I do not believe that. hit the gas, Guy" said Jack.

The Chase was on. some blue grass music kicked up on the radio. they approached a sign on the road. "Bridge out!" said the sign.

"the Bridge over the Crick is out!" Jack warned Guy.

"Bridges? I don't need no bridges!" said Guy.

He shifted up again and hit the edge of the Crick at full Speed. The Chevy Astro Van jumped into the air! Jack stuck his head out the window "YeeeeHaaa!" he crowed.

"Yeeeee Haaaa!" crowed Guy.

The Chevy Astro van landed safely on the other side of the Crick and kept going.

Deputy Elmo braked and turned wild before he hit the Crick. His Car skidded forward and flew right into the Crick! He opened the car door and stepped hip deep into crick water. Deputy Wesley pulled a fish out of his hat and spit up some water.

"Holy Shit! that is a strong Van!" said Deputy Elmo.

Jack got out of bed 8 hours later.

"alright! only 10 hours to go!" he said aloud.

After a shower and shave and putting on his suit and tie and tying his shoes he went to the hotel lounge for a continental breakfast of raisin bran, hardboiled eggs, and coffee.

With 20 minutes to go he got a call from headquarters.

"Jack" said the boss. "we found two dozen more of those mortar devices rigged to old vending machines. they were in vacant or foreclosed homes. There was no sign of any perpetrators. they were set off by timer. Wall Street was hit by thousands of 12 ounce cans of pig shit" said the boss.

"So the terrorists are gone eh. The attack is over. you don't need me around anymore. take me off the clock, boss" said Jack.

"alright I will" said the boss.

Jack went for a second cup of coffee when his cell phone rang.

"Jack! This is sister Flanagan at the Orphanage. there is an emergency!"

"what is it Sister Flanagan!" said Jack.

"The terrorist attack on Wall Street created a panic. Our Bagel Supplier didn't open up today. The orphans won't have any bagels!"

"These orphans need bagels! I will get you the bagels!" said Jack.

"God bless you Jack!" said Sister Flanagan.

Jack made a call to his old buddy, Guy.

"Guy! I need your help! meet me at the hotel!"

20 minutes later, a man drove up to the motel. You could tell he was much stronger than an ordinary man: He kept a chevy Astro Van in really great condition.

to be continued....!

It is Hour 6 of Season 12 of '25'!

Jack is asleep.

The italians with the van are at a truck stop.

Tony is at the Emergency Room

everyone else is watching television or at chinese restaurants.

it is the end of the episode.

Jack is still asleep!

episode 5.

"Well. That was some good comedy central" said Tony.

"I agree" said Jack.

Tony was promptly asleep 5 minutes later. He was immediately woken up by the sound of a roaring engine from the street outside. "Goddammit!" he said.

"They're probably just passing by" said Jack.

The engine roared up and down the street for five more minutes! Then it was over. It took Tony 20 more minutes to fall asleep. Five minutes after he fell asleep, the roaring engine returned. "Geezus Fucking Christ!" said Tony. He jumped out of bed, grabbed his gun, and ran outside.

He got to the street. A man on a motor cycle was roaring up and down the street. "Hey! What are you trying to do!" Tony shouted to him.

"just blowing off steam. I've been at conferences and cooped up in that hotel all week." said the man.

"Decent people are trying to sleep!" said Tony.

"Dude. I'm just riding my bike" said the man.

"Why is it so goddamm loud?" said Tony.

"I customized it to be louder. That way it is louder" said the Man

"I don't understand why you exist. why are you here?" said Tony.

"My name is Zeke. I am a regional sales executive"

"Why do you have to rev your engine at stop signs. it is a 25 mph street" said Tony.

"I like it!" said Zeke.

Tony's face barely contained rage. An eternity of five seconds passed. He drew his gun. "Step away from the motorcycle!" commanded Tony.

"Whoa. dude" said Zeke. he nervously complied.

Tony emptied his gun at the motorcycle. at the last shot, Tony fell. A ricochet or shrapnel had him doubled over on the ground.

Zeke approached Tony. "Are you okay, buddy?"

"you are not my friend!" said Tony.

Jack came running up. "I heard gunfire. what happened?"

Tony looked up at Jack. "Jack. give me your gun.
"Okay" said Jack.

Tony took the gun. He was still laying on the ground, and stretched his arm out to aim at the bike. He unloaded the clip again. on the last shot another ricochet or shrapnel hit Tony. fortunately this time he was already on the ground.

"You oughta try bein more tolerant, Tony" said Jack.

"Raaaaaghhhh!" Tony screamed.

Jack and Zeke compared notes until the ambulance arrived. The EMTs got tony secured to a stretcher. "How bad is it?" Jack asked an EMT.

"pretty bad. Looks like he will lose a testicle" said the EMT.

Tony called Jack over. His voice was weak and wavery. "Jack."

"I'm here Tony"

"Pomise me...." began Tony. He shuttered and choked.

"what is it Tony" said Jack.

"Promise me you will steal some towels from the hotel for me" said Tony.

"Alright. i will" said Jack. his face showed grim determination and resolution.

Zeke was arrested for assaulting a law enforcement official. Jack went back to his room and turned on comedy central.

Jack and Tony had to share a room. It is okay; the room at two beds. Jack showered and shaved and brushed his teeth. Tony washed his face at the sink; he was greek.

When Tony got out of the bathroom, Jack was propped up in bed watching television. Tony set his things aside and got into his own bed. "what are you watching?" said Tony.

"something on PBS about grilling food in West Virginia" said Jack.

"I want to watch Comedy Central. They got stand up at this hour".

"This helps me relax. I'm too keyed up for Comedy Central"

"I want Comedy Central!" said Tony.

"I turned on the tv first!" said Jack.

"Fine. I've got some intelligence files to review anyways". Tony got out his notebook computer.

after 20 minutes or so Jack spoke out. "why is it so fucking cold in here?"

"I turned the air conditioning on high. I like it cold."

"it is too cold. turn off the air conditioning and open a window" said Jack.

"No!" said Tony.

"You are supposed to be Greek. why do you need so much damn cold" said Jack.

"Your Mom!" said Tony.

"fuck you!" said Jack. Jack walked toward the air conditioning controls. Tony stood between Jack and the air conditioning controls. Jack tried to push Tony aside, and Tony pushed back. Finally, Tony threw the first punch. Jack got his forearms up in time to take most of the punch. Tony began to get Jack in a front face lock. Instead of resisting Jack crouched down before Tony could secure the maneuver. He punched Tony in the bread box. As Tony doubled over Jack lunged upwards and suplexed Tony. Tony hit the bed back first; he bounced off it, gained control of his momentum with a forward flip through the air and landed on his feet. After five minutes of punching each other they settled down. "alright. you can watch comedy central if you turn off the air conditioning" said Jack.

"fair enough" said Tony. He put away his laptop and turned on Comedy Central.